Developer: zSlide
Publisher: Atari Inc.
Release Date: 10-2-07
I do like his hat a little bit
There’s always a bit of sadness that goes along with anything released by Atari after the mid-80s. They were always a few steps behind and never could catch up. Hot Pixel is the perfect example of this. By the time the 2000s rolled around Atari was not the same company that they were in the 70s and 80s. The name had changed hands a few times before ending up being bought by French company Infogrames. I assume that’s why the obscure French developer zSlide worked on this game. All I know about them is that they only worked on two games and at some point they changed their name to the very fake sounding ooblada. This is another case where an iconic company worked with a nobody developer to make a disappointing game that could’ve been good.
Get used to this dweeb
Hot Pixel is what happens when you take a famous game and turn it into something worse and embarrassing. It is basically a ripoff of Warioware. Each level you play random micro games until you reach a boss. An Atari mini game compilation sounds like a very good idea. They practically invented that type of game after all. What ruins it, however, is one of the most cringeworthy presentations of all time. They decide to throw out the kidsy feel of the Wario titles and go for an urban street vibe. This means that every level is interrupted by the biggest dweeb in the history of gaming. The cutscenes star a parody urban wannabe who appears in live action segments at the beginning and end of every level. He is similar to the character who appears in The Offspring’s “Pretty Fly for a White Guy” video. Of course by the time Hot Pixel came out that song was almost a decade old and had long since lost its cultural relevance. The “dweeby white guy who pretends to be a hip urban guy” archetype was barely funny even when it was funny. In this setting it brings down a potentially decent game into the almost unplayable range.
A Hot Pixel game inside a Hot Pixel game
What do you do with a game where you constantly want to punch the main character in the face? It’s even worse because the cutscenes will change depending on if you win or lose. Something good happens to him when you win and something bad happens to him when you lose. This is just the opposite of how it should be. I wanted swift justice brought down on this horrible human at all times. When he’s peeping into windows with binoculars I want him to get hit by a car, not succeed in finding a half naked woman. What kind of game makes seeing a creepy guy leering at women a reward? This is the kind of game that thinks sexual harassment is fine and fat people are funny simply because they are fat. Some of the mini games are fun, and it actually plays decently, but I just cant get past the horrible sense of humor and lousy attitude. Of course it works best when the games pay tribute to Atari and don’t emphasize the urban esthetic. They could’ve done an NES Remix type game with classic Atari properties and it would’ve been fine. Too bad they decide to focus on confusing and unfunny games.
Hey neat it's Breakout!
Sony’s reputation as the grown up anti-Nintendo led to some great games. It also led to some cringeworthy garbage. Not every company can pull that kind of game off. I think Atari learned from this game and realized that they were never going to be a company for the Playstation crowd. They would go back to arcades and nostalgia and target goofballs like me who love old games. Hot Pixel is entertaining enough to keep it out of the red, but the presentation is going to keep it low. I am putting it at #29 right under my last game, Cosmic Commuter. I have been playing too many mediocre games lately and that might be the reason that I haven’t written as much. Of curse before I am done I will have to play every mediocre game in history. Lucky me.
1. Super Mario Odyssey
2. Galaga
3. Donkey Kong
4. Exodus: Ultima III
5. Pac-Mania
6. Wrecking Crew
7. Super Pac-Man
8. Pac-Man
9. Excitebike
10. Arc the Lad
11. Clu Clu Land
12. Artifact Adventure Gaiden DX
13. Mickey’s Racing Adventure
14. Metro-Cross
15. Ice Climber
16. Gaplus
17. Dragon Spirit
18. Pinball (NES)
19. Walt Disney World Quest: Magical Racing Tour (GBC)
20. Red Sea Crossing
21. Baraduke
22. Tennis
23. Hogan’s Alley
24. Gamma-Attack
25. The Legend of “Valkyrie”
26. Galaxian
27. Evoland
28. Cosmic Commuter
29. Hot Pixel
30. Wild Gunman
31. Defunct
32. Gyruss (2600)
33. Looney Tunes Racing
34. Squidlit
35. Baseball
36. Birthday Mania
37. Bad Street Brawler
38. Burly Men at Sea
39. My Name is Mayo
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