Friday, June 14, 2024
PlayStation 2 #1: Katamari Damacy
Wednesday, June 5, 2024
Atari Jaguar #8: Attack of the Mutant Penguins
Developer: Sunrise Games
Publisher: Atari
Release Date: March 15, 1996
How difficult were things getting for Atari in 1996? They released a game called Attack of the Mutant Penguins. Who wants to play a game called Attack of the Mutant Penguins? That name reeks of desperation. What they want you to think reading a name like that is “this is a fresh and wacky game full of ideas.” But what it actually says is “we wanted Lemmings but couldn’t get it.” I thought of Lemmings so much while I was playing that I just assumed Attack of the Mutant Penguins was an obscure DOS port. One of Atari's main goals was bringing PC games over to console, and I thought by this point they were looking for cheaper, lesser-known titles. But no, it was proposed to Atari after they opened up a European division to produce Jaguar games. Atari had all different companies submit games to them, and Attack of the Mutant Penguins is the one they liked. I would sure love to see some of the failed submissions, because it’s hard to see why Atari thought this was a good idea. The Jaguar was fading fast by this point, and what they saw in this confusing mess is anybody’s guess. Perhaps it sounded better on paper, or maybe Atari realized they couldn’t compete by making games like everyone else and decided to try to invent all new types of games. Well Attack of the Mutant Penguins was not going to come in at the last minute and save the day. I don’t think it’s going to appeal to anyone who doesn’t thirst for penguin blood. This might appeal to an orca, but it’s a hard sell to a human.
Attack of the Mutant Penguins is a frantic mess disguised as a Lemmings inspired action puzzle game. Lemmings really did try to do for action puzzlers what Tetris did for traditional puzzle games. A whole slew of games popped up in Lemmings’ wake trying to get a piece of that sweet action puzzle money. There were some successful games for PC, but consoles didn’t produce many popular follow-ups. Trying to come up with cute characters, challenging puzzles, and odd, sometimes violent humor wasn’t easy. And it sure wasn’t easy for the developers of Attack of the Mutant Penguins. Where most action puzzle games start you out small, Mutant Penguins plops you down in what feels like the midpoint of the level. Penguins are marching, little blue guys are bouncing around, there’s treasure chests but no keys, and you just know you’re going to have to do many things very quickly. Basically, it works like this: collect the blue guys, use the blue guys to open chests, find letters in the chests that spell out your weapon, hit enough smaller penguins to collect energy, and use your energy shot to destroy the mutant penguins before they tip the scale and outweigh the good penguins. Also, a lot of other things happen that make even less sense.
As you can probably tell, this game is frantic, and I wouldn’t call it frantic in a good way. It’s not an excitingly paced arcade game. It’s a game that is supposed to be about planning and puzzle solving. Those penguins just keep on marching, and I could see this as being a reverse-lemmings that is more about setting traps and disrupting progress. Instead, it’s a game where you just run as fast as you can and hope you find what you need while there’s still time. There’s no time to figure out what everything in the level even does, and it’s very easy to lose without knowing why. Really the whole game goes by without knowing why. I feel like you could play this whole game without explaining any particular action outside of penguin bludgeoning. Frantic is one thing, but Attack of the Mutant Penguins only takes a couple of minutes to become downright annoying. Chests will have items instead of letters in them which are no help at all because there’s not enough time to figure out what any of them do. There will be a set of good penguins to slow down the bad ones, but it’s hard to tell who's who, and they will often go through a zapper that turns them evil anyway. The evil penguins are mostly passive enemies, so the combat isn't even fun. You just stand there and kill them as they walk by. The game gives you clever clues at the beginning of levels just like in Lemmings, but I wasn’t able to get much help from them. The second level is called “A Little Ropey,” but I couldn’t find any use for that rope except to slow me down. “A little ropey” isn’t even a thing people say. Even the clues are random and confusing.
I gave this one my best attempt, but I couldn’t make it past the second level. I can’t tell you if the dynamic changes as you go along, but the basic goal seems to stay the same. There are action-based mini games between the levels which aren't that fun but are a nice change of pace. Also, there is a level select which I believe lets you play any levels you have already completed, so at least you don’t have to start from the beginning after every game over. Attack of the Mutant Penguins is certainly the type of game that only appeals to obsessives and collectors. It marks the beginning of the final wave of Jaguar games which are all rare and obscure. The prices have gone down somewhat in the last year or so, but a copy of this one can still run you about $90 loose. I would say that there are many better things to spend your money on, but of course I have a copy of Attack of the Mutant Penguins. I bought it many years ago, so it wasn't that expensive, but I get it. No judgement here. Just remember that it is as weird and pointless as the title makes it seem.
Ranking Jaguar games is getting a little tricky and not in the way I would like it to be. The bad games are starting to distinguish themselves so much that I really have to sort through the degrees of badness to make my decisions. Attack of the Mutant Penguins is not as offensively bad as the worst Jaguar games, but it's definitely a mile below something like Atari Karts that is boring but sensible as a game. Honestly, I think I'd even rather play Checkered Flag. That game is bad, but I knew I was I was doing and felt accomplished when it was finished. Attack of the Mutant Penguins just leaves me with an empty frustrated feeling. So, it's #6 of eight on my Jaguar list and overall, #137 on the complete list. It's right behind a couple of 2600 games, Pac-Man and Space Jockey, that I at least have some nostalgia for. I try not to rate games by nostalgia, but nobody's perfect. So, it's another loser on Jaguar. At least by the time it came out nobody had any expectations. Jaguar fans were probably playing the last few good releases and hoping that maybe the Jaguar 2 would become a real thing. It didn't of course, but Atari would find a strange new niche in a couple of years when greatest hits compilations would start to become popular on newer consoles. Atari would start to release new versions of old games which is something they would have quite a bit of success with. It didn't work on Jaguar, but the Atari name would be a mainstay on other contemporary consoles. Atari hasn't been a major cultural force since 1983, but I feel like they'll still be around even after cockroaches have died out. Who knows, maybe someday we'll see Revenge of the Mutant Penguins. I wouldn't be a bit surprised.
Jaguar Quality Percentage: 1/8 or 12.5%
Atari Jaguar Rankings
Ruiner Pinball
Cybermorph
Trevor McFur in the Crescent Galaxy
Atari Karts
Checkered Flag
Attack of the Mutant Penguins
7. Club Drive
8. Fight for Life