Sega Master System #6: Alex Kidd in Shinobi World

Developer: Sega

Publisher: Sega

Release Date: 6-24-1990

 

It says a lot about the Alex Kidd franchise that the best game in the series doesn’t play like an Alex Kidd game. Not that there was ever that much unity from game to game. There were four Alex Kidd games released in America during the Master System’s short run and each one feels like a different franchise. You’re just not meant to be a mascot when the developer can’t even decide what kind of character you are. At least this time it was a change for the better.

 Alex Kidd in Shinobi world is another high-quality game that came to the Master System much too late to make any kind of dent in America. It was part of the last batch of games, and for those who care about such things is one of the few American games to have a blue label instead of a red one. It’s also rare and expensive, but nothing like Sonic the Hedgehog. As the title implies this game combines Alex Kidd visuals with Shinobi styled gameplay. This means that instead of punching frogs Alex is fighting ninjas with a sword. If that’s not an improvement than I don’t know what is. It also has the speed of an Alex Kidd game instead of the deliberate pace of most early Shinobi games. It really is the best of both worlds.

 

I especially like the level design in this game. The much more famous Miracle World has some awkward levels. They throw everything at the wall and some of it doesn’t stick. Shinobi World has much more unity. It’s a classic side-scrolling platform game and all the better for it. Alex’s sword also gives him a better range, and I like how you can also knock away projectiles. The water levels are a little bit annoying, but less so than the ones in Miracle World. The water levels in Miracle World were all punching blocks, avoiding killer bubbles, and fighting against the current. In Shinobi World they are not perfect, but they play a bit better.

 I don’t have any other criticisms besides the normal SMS difficulty. This is another game that without save states I would’ve had a hard time reviewing it at all. At least it’s a game that a person would want to come back and play over and over. If Alex Kidd in the Enchanted Castle played more like this game than the worse version of Miracle World that it turned out to be than Alex Kidd might’ve had a future on the Genesis. The fact that it came out after Enchanted Castle makes it even more baffling. Why did they go back to their dying console instead of giving it a chance on the Genesis? It’s a very good game that deserves more recognition.

 Alex Kidd in Shinobi World is almost good enough to crack the top twenty. I’ve rated enough games now where it’s getting harder and harder to get up there, so #22 is still a very good showing. It’s not quite good enough to rate above Tails Adventures’ more complex gameplay, but it rates higher than any other Alex Kidd game and is the second-best Master System game I have played so far. Here’s hoping that the console has even more hidden gems.

(Images are from mobygames.com)

Sega Master System #5: Sonic the Hedgehog

Developer: Sega

Publisher: Sega

Release Date: 10-25-1991

 There’s something surreal about playing Sonic the Hedgehog on the Master System. It’s a game that the average person doesn’t even know exists. It was the last US game released, and it is exceptionally rare and expensive. A boxed U.S. copy is worth about $700. Because of its obscurity and appearance on an 8-bit system it’s easy to assume it is an inferior port of the Sega Genesis classic. Sonic on Master System, however, is its own game. The levels are different, and the gameplay is tweaked to make it work on an 8-bit system. Of course, saying that it works is an understatement. Sonic the Hedgehog positively thrives on the Master System.

 The first thing that I noticed about this game, besides the cute 8-bit version of the Sonic theme, is how good this game looks. It very well may be the bests looking 8-bit game ever produced. The vibrant colors and crisp sprites pop with vividness and clarity. In some ways I like the visuals better than its 16-bit counterpart. The Genesis has a great pseudo-3D look, but some murkiness comes with that. Sure, the backgrounds in MS Sonic are simpler, but they also keep the game from getting cluttered. It really is remarkable how much effort they put into this game that nobody in America was even going to play.

 The gameplay is different than its 16-bit counterpart but still engaging. It’s a more grounded game with longer straight stretches and none of the famous loops. However, this does allow for a good amount of speed. As much as Sonic’s speed was advertised, the first game doesn’t really use it all that much. The MS version gives Sonic much more room to run. Of course, his top speed isn’t as high as on the Genesis, but it’s a bullet train compared most other Master System games. It’s a system full of slow-paced action games. Sonic was just the dose of adrenaline it needed. Too bad it came out in 1991 instead of 1987 when they really needed a killer app.

 

Of course, this being Master System they had to go and make the game ten times harder than it is on Genesis. When Sonic takes damage, instead of a flood of rings only one shows up on the screen. This ring cannot be re-captured. That’s right, when Sonic is hit his rings are just gone. That gives you one free hit during boss fights and nothing more. This game has tough bosses too. They are the type that take a while to learn. It’s not the fast-paced pattern memorization of the 16-bit titles. It also introduces harder levels modes. It has and auto-scrolling level, and a level where you can go up but not back down again. All these are made to eat up lives, and with the ring problem and more linear paths it’s much harder to collect 100 rings. It’s a game where you need as many lives as you can get, but it’s very stingy with them. I couldn’t make it very far in this one without using save states. Of course, if you’re playing it in 2022 you are probably going to be using them. It’s still fun to play even without save states though. Like most early Sonic game it’s a bit top heavy. The first half of the game is more fun than the second half. I guess that’s the way these old games go though. I won’t hold it against Sonic.

 

Simply put Sonic the Hedgehog on Master System is a gem. It doesn’t quite equal its 16-bit counterpart, but it is easily one of the best action games on the Master System. When people my age think about Sonic, we typically think of those four classic games on Genesis. However, Sonic the Hedgehog is a much bigger and more interesting series than it gets credit for, even in the old days. It’s good enough to make it into my top 10, although I think there’s a few games below it that I overrated just a bit. I have Wrecking Crew higher than Pac-Man? I’m such a rebel. Anyway, I might try to burn through some Master System games in the near future because there aren’t that many US games for it. It will be interesting to see just how good the top 20 is. I think its quality is going to surprise some people, but I could be wrong. Keep reading to find out.

Images are from mobygames.com

Game Boy Advance #1: Cabbage Patch Kids: The Patch Puppy Rescue

Developer: 1^st Playable Productions

Publisher: D3

Release Date: 2006

 

People give the Wii a hard time, but the Game Boy Advance was the true master of shovelware. Although it survived for almost a decade it was only a relevant console for about four years. It was supposed to happily coexist with the Nintendo DS, but very quickly it was overshadowed by the flashy new handheld. So, what was getting released in the waning years of 2005-2009? Well, just about anything with a license. The system’s library was full of games from long forgotten franchises hoping to cash in on cheap name recognition on a handheld mostly played at that point by children. Just about any dormant franchise could try their hand at new relevance by tossing out a half-hearted game, and for your amusement I am going to eventually write about them all, starting with the toy that every late 80s kid inexplicably had at the bottom of their toy chest, Cabbage Patch Kids.

 

Hey, it's a picture from my own TV! There aren't many screenshots from this game

Now Cabbage Patch Kids have never truly faded away. They are still in production which is no small feat for a forty-year-old toy line. However, they are nowhere close to the relevance they had in the mid 80s. For a few years they were the hottest toy around with just about every conceivable type of merchandise to their names. Even by the time I was a kid in the early 90s they were seen in just about every commercial break during cartoons. However, by 2006 their relevance was severely on the decline. There was nothing much new going on outside of dolls since their stop-motion TV specials of the late 90s. Still, somebody thought it was a good idea seven years later to have a GBA game based on the license. I’m not sure if it was a nostalgia cash grab or an attempt to connect with a new generation, but either way its mere existence is interesting. The game itself is less interesting than the story behind it.

 

It’s actually not a terrible game for one made for real little kids. It’s a classic left-to-right platformer with mini games peppered in between the levels. The story is that all the puppies have escaped, and you have to go rescue them. In a decent twist every level is full of tokens to collect, and there is a counter that tells you how many more there are to find. I enjoyed this because it gave the levels an amount of depth that they wouldn’t otherwise have. You get rewarded for exploring the entire world, and some of them require some brain power to figure out. Before I sing its praises too much, I will concede that it’s a bit dull for someone who is almost forty.

 

Cute!

It’s one of those kid games where nothing bad can happen to you. I know they are often made this way so that kids don’t get frustrated, but I have kids myself and they enjoy more of a challenge than what this game has to offer. The game has enemies in it, but all that happens if you get hit by one is a slight boink sound. I suppose if you really hate boinks than you may try to avoid them, but they don’t even slow you down. What’s the point of even putting them in if they aren’t going to serve any purpose? A life bar would be a big improvement for kids and adults. Some challenge would be good because the game is only about a half hour long. A greater difficulty would make the game last longer. Finding all the collectibles and playing mini games give it some depth, but it’s still a shallow experience. Even a very little kid has a longer attention span than what this game has to offer. It won’t even last a whole trip to the grocery store.

 

So, it’s another kid game that falls short. I hate to be a cynic and criticize another game for kids but making it in the first place was a fairly cynical move. It’s yet another low effort licensed title. Unfortunately, there are hundreds of them on Game Boy Advance, and I’m going to have to rank them all. I hope there are some good games on the console, but even the GBA Pokémon games were somewhat disappointing. It’s going to be a long trip. So, there were a couple things I liked about The Patch Puppy Rescue so it’s not going all the way to the bottom, but it’s not going to rank very high. Kids deserve better than half hour games with no challenge. It’s not a complete mess like Gordo 106 but not as well-made as Squidlit so I’m putting it at number 76 right between those two games. I promise that I won’t only play bad Game Boy Advance games this year, but they really intrigue me. Expect to see some even more goofy games in the future.

NES #23: Mario's Time Machine

Developer: Radical Entertainment 

Publisher: The Software Toolworks 

Release Date: June 23, 1994 

I play a lot of educational games in January. Typically, at the end of December I will set a goal for how many games I am going to try to complete the following year. I always end up losing my way part way through, but I am really into it in January. I like to try to get way ahead early so the rest of the year will be easier. So, I play a lot of educational and other children’s games that are easy victories. My goal this year is 100, but I did the math and with all the games I have access to if I want to beat them all by the time I turn 80 I will have to do something closer to 250 a year. That seems like a bit much even for me, but I do have a few other educational Mario games I can play at least. I even have another version of Mario’s Time Machine. Maybe I’ll do that one in January of 2023. 

Get used to this screen. You'll probably have to see it fifty times

 

My background is in education, so I will admit that I enjoy educational games, and I am not going to be snarky about one just because it has another goal than the typical game. However, Mario’s Time Machine is a bit of an odd one no matter how noble the cause. It took some time just to figure out what I was supposed to do. This game has Mario trapped in a museum trying to return artifacts to their proper time periods. To get the artifacts he needs to go through doors and play a very simple version of the original Mario Bros. There’s no deaths or injuries in the game, so these sections of the game exist solely to make it feel more like a real video game. They get old fast, and they must be played at least sixteen times for Mario to find all the artifacts. All you have to do is wait at the bottom until a koopa happens by and then bump him. There’s no strategy or challenge whatsoever. It should also be noted that the titular time machine seems to be the property of the museum and not Mario, but I guess “Mario and the Time Machine That Just Happens to be Nearby” isn’t as catchy of a title.

Did they have multi-national flags in ancient Greece?
 

 

The whole game is plagued by bad design choices. Each artifact has to be placed in a specific place in a specific time period to count. The levels themselves are small, so this shouldn’t be much of a problem. Some of the clues, which are also history facts, are very hard to get to. There are hidden blocks everywhere, and many of them just get in the way. In theory it’s nice to have some sort of challenge, but it ends up being more annoying than fun. Also, and probably not surprisingly, some of the facts are out of date. Nowadays we all know that Magellan didn’t discover the Earth was round and Cleopatra was a Greek and did not kill herself using a snake. Most of the facts are at least interesting and historically accurate so I can’t complain about that part too much. What really drives me crazy is that Mario can only carry one artifact at a time. If you put it in the wrong time period, or even in the wrong spot in the right time period, a bird will swoop in and take it away. This means you have to go back and play the Mario Bros game again to get the artifact back. I get that they want the player to truly know the correct answer and not just get it by guesswork, but some of the artifacts are ambiguous and took me several tries to figure out. Sure, we all know an apple is going to go with Newton, but how about a generic throne or steering wheel? The quill pen could fit with almost any era before the 20th century, but it went with William Shakespeare who just happened to be hanging out in the non-familiar year of 1603. I know that he was rising to the height of his popularity around this time, but I didn’t see this year and automatically think Shakespeare. It’s also confusing because some of the dates are the famous person’s birth year and some are the year they accomplished something important. It’s all a bit of a confusing mess that causes you to go to the Mario Bros screen about 20 or 30 times more than should be necessary. 

At least it has a fun DK cameo

 

The one bit I enjoyed in this game was the appearance of famous historical figures. You get to see people like Gandhi and Einstein appear at the end of levels and then get instantly killed by koopas. There’s just something really funny about seeing Neil Armstrong finally make it to the moon only to be taken out by a first level mook. It brings up some questions to say the least. Are they really dead or did they just lose a life? If they are dead than that means Bowser irrevocably changed history by killing off a dozen or so of the most important people before they had a chance to achieve their greatest goals. Lincoln wasn’t able to pass the 13th amendment and Shakespeare never wrote Hamlet just because Bowser had a silly scheme to kidnap Yoshi. That just goes to show you that if you have a museum with a time machine, don’t leave it out in the open where just anyone can use it. It’s sad because Bowser, who just essentially destroyed the world, is taken out with just three hits in an impossible to lose fight. It’s another part of the game that only exists to make it feel more like a video game. It adds no challenge or fun to the game, but a game has to have a boss and an ending. 

 

So, Mario’s Time Machine is a disappointment. It lacks challenge but doesn’t have enough true educational content to make up for it. At least it has Mario and the gang in it, and it’s weird enough to be interesting. I’d take it over a boring bad game any day, and it does set off my nostalgia receptors even though I never played it as a kid. Yes it’s a bad game, but it’s my new top bad game. I am ranking it at number 73 just ahead of the bad but boring Looney Tunes Racing. It’s one of those bad games that I still recommend. The strangeness makes it worth playing, but I can’t objectively say it’s not a bad game. If you get a chance to play it you probably should, especially if you like bad games.

NES Quality Percentage: 13/23 or 56.52%

Images are from mobygames.com

Sega Genesis #3

Developer: Treasure 

Publisher: Sega 

Release Date: December 1993  

 

It really is just like the picture 

 

McDonald’s Treasure Land Adventure is a strange case. I can’t help but wonder if it was an attempt by McDonald’s to expand their brand outside of the fast-food business. Were they trying to become the next Disney? I guess we’ll never know for sure, but a strange thing about this game is its lack of anything McDonald’s related. Outside of the characters and a few appearances of the golden arches it could be a game based on almost anything. There is not one burger or French fry in site. I played the whole game and didn’t get hungry once. That’s unusual for me playing any game let alone one made to sell bad cheeseburgers. Another interesting thing about this game is its connection to one of the most legendary Sega Genesis games of all. When Treasure formed, they started to make Gunstar Heroes. Sega, however, wouldn’t give a publisher contract to the brand-new company. So Sega forced them to make McDonald’s Treasure Land Adventure first so that they could get some experience. Many of the same people worked on both games, and Treasure would release Gunstar Heroes to critical acclaim. So, this is a game forced on a developer with the goal of selling Happy Meals to hungry 90s kids such as myself. It’s not exactly a recipe for success, but the end result surprisingly mostly works.  

 

The strange rogue’s galaxy 

 

It’s hard to dislike a game designed so well. It’s bright, colorful, and filled with strange enemies. Ronald ends up in space by the end of the game, but the monsters and levels on Earth are strange enough. If you want to fight evil gnomes and eagles wearing top hats than this is the game for you. The levels are well-designed with many interesting experiments. In one level Ronald is on top of a dark train with only occasional lamps to guide him. In another level sumo wrestlers split the road causing elevations to change. Even more interesting is climbing up a high-rise and having the same sumo wrestlers causing the building itself to slide back and forth. Treasure could’ve phoned it in and made a bunch of standard left-to right, avoid the hole-type levels, but they really put a lot of effort into it. I also enjoy how the levels are connected to each other. Ronald will end up in some circumstance, such as a tsunami, which will directly take him to the next level. It’s not just a fade to black which randomly sends him to another location. It almost plays like one long level. 

 

 

It’s not all good, however. The experimental nature of the levels leads to a few frustrating moments. The worst part has Ronald riding a platform with random beach balls falling on it. When this happens it spins around, and if you don’t time it right you fall off. As far as I can tell there’s no way to know when the balls are going to fall. The only way I could figure out to get past it was kind of cheat by falling in a hole and riding one of Ronald’s balloons up to the top. If you got to the level and didn’t have any balloons you’d be stuck in a very difficult loop. Also, the story kind of annoyed me. Yes, I really am going to talk about the story in a McDonalds video game. It’s a bit of a cop out with Ronald and the gang getting stuck on the moon. Ronald finds the treasure from the map, but tells its owner that he really doesn’t want it. All Ronald wants is a way back to Earth. So what’s in the treasure chest? It’s a magical rainbow that transports everyone back home. Why this would be in a treasure chest, and why said treasure chest would have a map leading to it in the first place is not explained.  Was the final boss just waiting there for someone to get stuck on the moon and beat him up so he could save the day? Perhaps I am overthinking things a bit, but if I’m going to spend my New Year’s playing a game, I at least want it to make sense. There is also a weird system for fighting the bosses which makes losing health a requirement. You can’t attack them until they have stolen your health and are licking their lips in satisfaction. At least it’s an easy pattern to memorize.  

 

I really can’t get over this weird guy 

 

For a licensed title from the early 90s this one rates fairly high. It’s certainly not one of the best Genesis games, but I enjoyed it for a couple of hours, and it would’ve been a fun rental back in the day. I was obsessed with McDonald’s at the time, so I am very surprised I never played it. I never even heard about it despite going to McDonald’s practically every Friday until I was about twelve or so. Better late than never I suppose. For now, I am ranking this one at #33 right below another food-themed game, Panic Restaurant which I enjoyed just a bit more, probably because I am a sucker for 8-bit platformers. I haven’t played many Genesis games for the blog yet so I can’t say how it stands up among other games on the console, but it was surprisingly fun, and one I can recommend for 16-bit fans. In the right hands, licensed games can be fun. 

 

 

images are from mobygames.com