NES #52: The Karate Kid

 

Developer: Atlus

Publisher: LJN

Release Date: December 1987

(This cover art certainly gets bonus points for having the most Pat Morita of any game so far. Did you know he's only in 26 episodes of Happy Days? That's half as many as Ted McGinley)

My THQ profile went so well last year that I figured I would go all out and look at some LJN games. I've always wondered why LJN has such a terrible reputation compared to THQ considering their games barely even work and look like they were drawn by little kids. LJN games at least look professional. I think it's partially because LJN came along so early in the console's run. There weren't very many games by the end of 1987, and these early LJN games were everywhere. If you were there at the time, you probably saw some of these games at video stores for years even if you never played them. I certainly never played The Karate Kid when I was a child. I never saw the movie, so it's not a game I would've played because I was a fan. I certainly saw it around though. December 1987 was before we had a Nintendo and just a little bit after I was potty trained, so to me it's a game that has practically always existed. No wonder LJN games have such a large cultural impact despite not actually being that interesting. People my age grew up with that rainbow logo. Also, much like how THQ utilized a very young Bethesda, The Karate Kid was made by Atlus. Their name is on quite a few of my all-time favorite games including the Etrian Odyssey and Persona series. It's another case of a future great getting their feet wet on a licensed NES game. 

(Despite what they tell you online, head shots were in fact legal in the movie)

As we go through LJN we will see some instances where the developers made some strange games. The Karate Kid, however, plays it safe. The game starts with a karate tournament, but after this brief section it turns into a mostly standard martials arts side scroller. If you've ever played Kung Fu or Black Belt than you probably know what to expect. The levels are dotted with bonus games that earn you special movies. I always accidentally use my special moves the second I leave the bonus rooms, but I'm not going to fault the game for that. I can't complain too much about the controls. It's an up-to-jump game, but most martial arts games from the era are, and I certainly didn't have any trouble controlling Daniel-San. It's also a very nice-looking game for such an early release. 1987 was still dominated by chunky neon sprites. The Karate Kid has much more realistic character designs and a muted color palate that makes it look like it actually takes place in our world. This is something I would expect from a game a few years newer. If you're looking for a nostalgic game that doesn't come up as often this might be a decent choice, especially since it's still fairly cheap. Of course, it does have some major flaws.

(Most of the game looks like this. I appreciate the map.)

Recently I saw The Karate Kid on a list of the top ten most difficult NES games. I have a feeling that the person who made the list didn't actually play it. It's the kind of inexplicable pick that can only come from one source: The Angry Video Game Nerd. The Karate Kid was one of his earliest videos, and sure he struggled with it. But it was a scripted video and not an authentic playthrough. You guys know he exaggerates the difficulty of games for comedic effect, right? He really dwells on those bonus levels which are purely optional and don't cost any health. My major complaint with The Karate Kid is just the opposite. It's too easy and too short. I had a bit of trouble finishing it now that I am an old man, but when I was young I beat The Karate Kid the same day I first played it. There are no continues, but the whole thing only takes about twelve minutes, and there are plenty of health drops. I believe the only enemies that require more than one hit are the bosses, and they're just like the regular enemies except stronger. Many of my deaths were of the cheap variety. Sometimes I'll get stuck on the scenery and can't fight back and one unlucky time I respawned above a hole and experienced instant death. If all goes well this really is one of the shortest platformers on the whole console. I can see why someone might feel ripped off by The Karate Kid. Imagine getting this as a full-priced game in the late 80s. Games were closer to $100 in today's money, and there weren't that many to choose from. You would certainly want a game that lasted. It's too repetitive to be one you'll want to play over and over, so it really is just a one-and-done. I can definitely see 1987 kids taking this game back to the store and getting The Legend of Zelda instead. That was even before rental stores were that common. Difficulty on NES is a balancing act, and unfortunately The Karate Kid swings too much in the easy direction. 

(Here's that funny thing. It's not so interesting out of context)

Not surprisingly, The Karate Kid is right in the middle of my listings. On the NES-specific list it is 27/52. I can't believe I've ranked 52 NES games without hardly writing about any that people actually care about. When all 700+ games are ranked The Karate Kid will likely be a bit farther down than the middle, but it's not a complete disaster. This was a game made for rentals and cheap thrift stores. A lot of people who got into collecting around the time I did likely bought it as one of their earliest used games. Even now it's only about $12, which is about as cheap as it gets for non-sports titles. It's not a great game, or hardly even a good one, but it certainly has its place in the world of NES. 

NES Quality Percentage: 25/52 or 48.07%

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1G01RKJ7-caaal5lgFfGgPfZRGcqWlv4E3E2E615UYKg/edit?usp=sharing

Neo Geo Pocket Color #7: Samurai Shodown 2

 

Developer: Saurus

Publisher: SNK

Release Date: 1999

SNK had a very noble goal when releasing the Neo Geo Pocket Color. They wanted to actually make good handheld fighting games. In the late 90s that seemed like an impossible task. Ever since Street Fighter II became a game changing hit, fighting games became a staple on just about every console. Even venerable consoles like the NES and Master System had some interesting fighting games near the end of their lives. Game Boy and Game Gear had plenty of fighting games as well, but they were almost always universally panned. They must've sold alright because there really are a lot of them, but it was difficult taking something so famously 16-bit and shrinking it down on a much less powerful system. Thankfully, SNK was here to save the day. They were very confident in their abilities too, because fighting games take up almost a sixth of the console's scant US library. It's what SNK was most known for, so of course they were going to flood the market. So, was it a success? The handheld's quick death would imply that it was not, but the Pocket Color's death had nothing to do with the quality of the games. This is a very complicated was of saying that Samurai Shodown 2 is a quality game.

I am not very familiar with the Samurai Shodown series, so I can't judge it by the series as a whole, but the handheld version is certainly well-executed. In a way it's the opposite of Double Dragon V. Samurai Shodown 2 has a much more varied roster of fighters who feel unique. There are fifteen characters to choose from, and with each one having two different fighting styles it's more like having thirty fighters. That may be a slight exaggeration, but fifteen was still an impressive roster at the time. It's funny that Samurai Shodown is mostly humans and Double Dragon V is cartoonish monsters, but Double Dragon V is still the one that feels more generic. It doesn't matter how wacky your characters look if all they're going to do is spam weak punches. 

Samurai Shodown 2 remembered to focus on the combat, and it works surprisingly well with only two buttons. I am certainly a more casual fighting game fan, so I don't know how a Sushi-X type might feel about it, but I would have a hard time faulting a game for being easy to execute. I could pick any player and grow comfortable with their moveset fairly quickly. Special moves were fairly easy to figure out on my own, and some are gained on cards earned throughout the game. Characters have a boost gauge that fills over the course of the battle, and this can be used for devastating special moves. The moves are not automatic, so there is still some skill needed for them to land properly. I enjoy that there are no cheap moves. The game manages to be fairly challenging as well. It's not a punch spamming game in the slightest.  I always felt that I could improve with practice, so nothing ever seemed hopeless. It's easy to play and offers a decent challenge. That's a recipe for success.

I always thought I would get back to Neo Geo Pocket Color sooner. I reviewed that big chunk of terrible casino games all at once, and never did get around to reviewing any of the more significant games. The only good review I have given out so far is for Pac-Man, and that is a game I'm sure you're all getting tired of reading about. Well, the redemption starts today. Samurai Shodown 2 is now game #71 on the list. It's easily in the good section, and it won't be the last good fighting game I play for the NGPC. I'm only ten games away from having a full hundred good ones, and if I focus, I'm sure the Pocket Color will help me get there. Of course I've never focused before, but you never know. Maybe 2025 will be my year. 

Neo Geo Pocket Color Quality Percentage: 2/7 or 28.57%

Atari Jaguar #11: Double Dragon V: The Shadow Falls

 

Developer: Telegames

Publisher: Williams

Release Date: April 5, 1995

Having a blog based on my own whims can get me into trouble sometimes. For example, I probably shouldn't have written about Fight for Life already. In the hierarchy of Atari Jaguar fighting games, it's the Plan 9 From Outer Space. It's a game made to be written about and studied. I got Jaguar's worst and funniest fighting game out of the way first so I could spend the rest of my time talking about the boring leftovers. How am I going to get an interesting article out of Double Dragon V? The only thing that's interesting about it is the franchise it's connected to. Double Dragon was a powerhouse in the NES era, but by 1995 it had fallen onto hard times. It feels like Double Dragon should've been riding high. There was both a cartoon series and live action movie based on the franchise around the same time, but Double Dragon V would be the end of the road for the main series. I wish there was a terrible 3D Double Dragon game on PlayStation because I'm sure that would be fun to talk about, but alas, it mostly ends here. Of course, after playing it I can see why.

Double Dragon V tries something that almost never works. It switches genres from the previous titles. Fighting games were all the rage in the mid-90s, and the Double Dragon team probably felt like they helped create the genre, but all the previous games had been side-scrolling beat-em-ups. It's a type of game they were quite good at making. By 1994 the gaming world was awash with mediocre fighting games, and I don't think anyone wanted to see their beloved franchises turn into one. This wasn't a spin-off after all, it was the next main game in the series. Of course, all would be forgiven if they made a high-quality game, but unfortunately it has the same shallowness of previous Double Dragon games with none of the charm. 

The first thing I noticed booting up the game was that I didn't recognize any of the characters besides protagonists Billy and Jimmy Lee. Apparently, most of the other characters are from the cartoon show, which I never saw despite being obsessed with both video games and cartoons at the time. I mean, I saw the Mutant League show, and that one was obscure and terrible. However, I can tell that they didn't bring over all the characters from the cartoon because the women characters are oddly sexualized. I don't have a problem with games including a playable dominatrix on general principal, but it does show that the developers weren't quite sure what they wanted to do with this game. It's a mature game based on a children's show that it hardly even references. They really just wanted to turn into Mortal Kombat without the conviction to actually do so.

This attitude crosses over to the gameplay. It doesn't have the martial arts focus of the earlier games or the over-the-top violence and special moves of Mortal Kombat. I honestly couldn't figure out how to do any of the special moves. I think they require the keypad which only adds to the confusion. Luckily, the opponents don't know the special moves very well either. So, this one becomes an oddly slow-paced button masher. It moves quickly enough, but none of the attacks seem to do much damage. Most of the matches I played ended with the timer running out, which is never good in a fighting game. I did wonder if I could take advantage of this. I tried spamming a couple of hits and then avoiding damage for the rest of the match, but that didn't work. So at least this is a game you actually have to pay attention to. I will say that much. It just doesn't end up making much of an impact. I don't want my Double Dragon game to be a skeleton dude mashing out punches until time runs out. It just doesn't work, and since this is a game nobody's ever heard of despite being released for SNES and Genesis, I suppose the world agrees with me. 

My Jaguar journey has now gotten into a slow, boring grind. I have reviewed many of its most infamous games and have to get through the garden variety bad ones. I'm afraid that if I want to keep my sanity, I might have to do something that I have been avoiding. I might have to actually start reviewing some good Jaguar games. I know that's not what anyone wants, but it's going to happen eventually. Unless you want me to review White Men Can't Jump first. That's definitely the funniest game I have left. Of course that's a discussion for another day. Double Dragon V is in the red section, but it's the new benchmark for bad Jaguar games. It's the highest ranked one at #7 and #153 overall. It splits the two racing games being worse than Atari Karts and better than Checkered Flag. I can't say I have all that much confidence in Jaguar's racing and fighting games. Too bad they didn't make more pinball games. Apparently, they are the only ones I like.

Atari Jaguar Quality Percentage: 2/11 or 18.18%

Atari Jaguar #10: Missile Command 3D

 

Developer: Virtuality Entertainment

Publisher: Atari

Release Date: December 12, 1995

Atari has always loved nostalgia, so it's surprising how little of an impact their classic games had on the Jaguar. There is one notable exception that I will get to eventually, but most of their attempts at updating classic games came out at the tail end of the console's life with practically no one noticing. Maybe it was just too soon. Atari would find success in the late 90s with a wave of nostalgic updates, but maybe during the Jaguar era that demographic was just too young. Or maybe the Jaguar was just cursed and nothing would've ever worked. That's a distinct possibility as well. Missile Command 3D is one of three Jaguar games directly based on a popular Atari 2600 game, and it was certainly a game that still had legs in the 90s. I know I had the Game Boy version of the original, and I used to play it all the time. It was one of my favorite old arcade games, and I would've loved an updated version. So how could Missile Command 3D Fail? It's not like every Jaguar game is a sad mess that shows just how lost Atari was. They're not all failures in the same predictable ways. That's only true for 95% of them. Maybe Missile Command 3D will be the exception.

Missile Command 3D is not the exception. It's not as much of a disaster as we've come to expect from the Jaguar, but the errors become apparent very quickly. It's the same story as so many other Jaguar games. It looks great, but the developers just didn't know how to turn it into a good game. Missile Command is a game that is meant to fit all on one screen. The whole fun of it is that you can see the missiles coming and watch them blow up with satisfying chain reactions. You can discover this too if you have a copy of Missile Command 3D. They very wisely include a version of the original game. It's fun on Jaguar, and if the enhanced version was just the original game with better graphics and tighter controls it might be a minor winner. Unfortunately, they had to go and get cute with it. 

The developers decided to make everything bigger in the main 3D mode, which sounds like a good idea but does nothing except slow the gameplay down. Now the levels scroll, and there is a large amount of space between the cities and top of the screen. This would be alright if the game was still fast and exciting. I think they overcompensated a bit to make up for the bigger space. Everything is slowed down to a ridiculous degree, especially in the earlier levels. Those enemy missiles inch along giving you plenty of time to aim, and your missiles take a couple of seconds to reach their targets. For an arcade game this is just too slow. Things do get hectic a few levels in, but it still feels sluggish. There are just more slow things happening at once. It's not painful to play, but it certainly doesn't come anywhere close to the classic original game. 

Because this was the mid 90s, the other included game is inexplicably called virtual mode. I have no idea what is supposed to be virtual about it other than the first-person perspective, but it's a little bit better than the 3D mode. It moves the action underwater with a variety of different enemies and weapons to choose from. This mode is closer to the Missile Command expansion I was looking for. It's an update of the original formula that includes more modern touches like power-ups and boss fights. It even has multiple environments including outer space. I couldn't progress that far thanks to a couple of difficult bosses, but it's certainly a step in the right direction.

Sadly, Missile Command 3D did not keep my attention for very long. Even virtual mode played like a slowed-down version of the original arcade game, and that's only going to be interesting for so long. I'm just not sure Missile Command is a game that can be adapted well. It's such a specific game that needs specific mechanics to function. The developers here tried out making the screen slightly bigger and it messed everything up. I'm sure I have other Missile Command sequels to play that will hopefully change my mind, but Missile Command 3D sure makes me feel like some games are best left in the past.

Of course this is a Jaguar game, so while it might rank lower on a different console, Missile Command 3D is in the middle of my Jaguar rankings. It's in the "bad but not shameful" section right above Atari Karts. I guess I'd rather play an iffy arcade update than a poorly made kart racer. Someday this list will include a good Jaguar game that isn't pinball, but that day will have to wait. I have now reviewed 20% of the Jaguar cartridge games, so at this rate there should be 10 good ones. I sure hope that isn't an overestimate. There must've been something Atari did right. 

Atari Jaguar Quality Percentage: 2/10 or 20%

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1G01RKJ7-caaal5lgFfGgPfZRGcqWlv4E3E2E615UYKg/edit?usp=sharing

Atari 2600 #25: Stargunner

 

Developer: Telesys

Publisher: Telesys

Release: 1983

Stargunner has everything I have come to expect from a Telesys game minus one important thing. It doesn't have a funny name. Didn't they get the memo? Telesys games are supposed to have silly puns in their titles. The box art isn't funny either. It just looks like a Stargunner. I don't know what order the games were released in, but I know that at the very least Demolition Herby has a later serial number. Perhaps with Stargunner they were just taking a break from funny titles and not abandoning them altogether. At least it gave me something to talk about in the first paragraph. I already mentioned that Stargunner gave me everything I expected. What I meant by that is they simplified a much more famous arcade game so that it could run quicker on the 2600. 

In this case their inspiration in the classic Defender. I loved the Atari 2600 version of Defender when I was a kid, and it has such sentimental value to me that I have no idea if it's good or not. I think it gets a mixed response, but it's also not a game that was done so bad that people needed a replacement. Telesys didn't add something missing like they did with Demolition Herby. They just took a very famous game and used it as the inspiration for their much less famous game. It's not purely plagiarism, but it doesn't take very long to see where they got the idea for their game. 

Stargunner is a much more stripped-down experience than Defender. While Defender featured an entire city complete with a map, Stargunner only has one screen. The rolling hills at the bottom of the screen give the illusion of size, but if you fly to the edge of the screen, you just pop up back on the other side. The targets on the screen are also more passive. They don't shoot at you and can only attack by colliding. There is a ship at the top of the screen that shoots down at you, so there's plenty of action to deal with. The objects on the screen are a bit abstract so I'm not sure how to describe them. Maybe an onigiri and an enzyme? Well, whatever they are they must be eliminated. So, you shoot one target, it turns into another target, and you keep doing that until you die. It's simple, but it plays well. It has a certain addictiveness to it. 

My main problem with Stargunner is the poorly balanced difficulty. On the default easy setting the game can get almost boring. The targets move slow, and the shots coming from above are easy to avoid. Of course, this is the starter difficulty, so it's supposed to be easy. What of the other difficulties? Things get too intense too fast. Even the second option is much too hard. The ships suddenly zip across the screen, and their one goal is to collide with you. I could barely get a shot off without having some kamikaze aliens blow me up. I could easily get 30,000 or more points on the easiest setting, and on any higher difficulty I could barely break 1,000. I just wish there was a difficulty between the two extremes where the ships were more of a threat but not constantly suicidal. It's a shame because if it was well-balanced, it might be a true hidden gem. 

When I'm comparing every game ever made, 2600 games have to really be good to break into the green section. Stargunner doesn't rise up to that standard, but it's still alright. It's sad that of the three highest ranked Telesys games, two of them were adaptions of already existing arcade games. I feel like Telesys was a company that wanted to have big ideas and memorable games, but they fell short. It could've been that they ran into the crash just about the moment they started and just had to do whatever they could to survive. I'll probably never know for sure, but they weren't phoning it in either. Stargunner comes in at #115 which is almost halfway up the list. I'm already up to 184, which means I'm getting close to 200. I should play something special for my 200th, but that's a story for another day. 

Atari 2600 quality percentage: 9/25 or 36%

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1G01RKJ7-caaal5lgFfGgPfZRGcqWlv4E3E2E615UYKg/edit?usp=sharing

Atari 2600 #24: Ram It

 

Developer: Telesys

Publisher: Telesys

Release Date: January 1983

(The box art implies the existence of circles. Sadly, none are featured in the actual game.)

I pride myself on being able to make a good essay out of anything. I love to take insignificant things and turn them into interesting written pieces. However, 2600 games can push me to my limit sometimes. So many of them are single screen games that have simple goals and were made by phantoms who were in business for about six weeks and left behind no digital footprint. I can't even pad them out with biological information because there is none to be found. It's even more difficult with a company like Telesys that I have already covered and have nothing new to say. I've already told what little of their story I can tell, and now I have to fall back on the hope that their last couple of games are at least interesting to talk about. Well, Ram It is an essayists worst nightmare. It's not a terrible game, but it is about as simple as games get. I think I could get some more interesting stories out of a tic-tac-toe simulator than I can out of this game. I guess the name is a little funny. Of course, I've already talked about how they made boring games with funny titles. I guess I'll just get into it, and we can all make the most of what we have.

(One thing I will say about Ram It though. It is definitely this game.)

Ram It has you controlling a gun attached to a rail in the center of the screen. You can move up-and-down and shoot either direction, but you are otherwise stuck. Your goal is to take out all the colorful rectangles that are slowly filling the screen. They start out tiny, but they will randomly grow until you are trapped. There is also a countdown that will cost you a life if it runs out, so you have to hurry. Once you destroy all the rectangles you get to move on to the next level which is a little bit harder. It's the standard Atari setup. I can tell their main goal was to have as many colors on the screen as possible. It looks very nice, and it certainly shows off how far the Atari had come during its lifespan. I like how the top and bottom are curved with makes it look like you are trapped in a big, colorful burger. 

It looks nice, but there is something unsatisfying about shooting at passive rectangles. They don't do anything but grow, and even the growing is random. My main strategy on easy mode is to start from the top-left, shoot my way down to the bottom, and then shoot my way back up from bottom-right. If I aim just right, I can take out two rectangles at once and then turn around and take out two on the other side. In fact, this is just the strategy they recommend in the instructions. I can practically ignore the length of the rectangles and just focus on the system. It's a successful system, but not a very exciting one. It is more frantic on higher difficulty settings, and they add in bonus blocks that will disappear completely if you shoot them while flashing. It's some much needed variety in an otherwise very repetitive game, but the straight-line strategy is still fairly effective. 

And that's about all I can say about Ram It. I hate it when my reviews become nothing more than describing the gameplay, but Ram It doesn't give me much material to work with. The name is funny I guess, but not funny enough to keep a review going. Ram It came out in the era when dozens of amateur companies started making terrible 2600 games and flooding the market with junk, so it actually looks fairly good stacked up against the competition. It's well made, and there is something mildly addictive about the gameplay. Unfortunately, all those terrible games are much more interesting to write about. Ram It is a competently made mediocracy that was probably appreciated in the dark days of 1983, but nothing special when stacked up against the whole library. 

(Suddenly I am hungry for a Pride Burger. Is that a thing?)

Ram It is very comfortably in the purple section just like most Telesys games. With their weird titles and fun box art I expected more. The only one I have left to review is the one with the least interesting name, so maybe it will be the most fun to play. I may write about some more boom-era publishers because I think their stories are interesting even if the individual games are not, so get out your Atari bingo cards. Ram It ranks in at #127 overall and #15 on the Atari list. I have a feeling the majority of the less famous third-party games are going to be about as good as Ram It, so I have quite the journey ahead of me. I hope you like reading about boring old Atari games, because I probably still have hundreds of them to go. 

Atari 2600 Quality Percentage: 9/24 or 37.5%

Sega Master System #11: Captain Silver

 

Developer: Data East

Publisher: Sega

Release Date: September 1989

Recently I was thinking about how positive I have been toward the Sega Master System. 70% of them have been good so far? That's way too many. I've got to find some lesser games to balance things out. To do this I decided to go back to a game I have a bit of a history with. Captain Silver was one of the first SMS game I ever owned. I found it thrifting in my tiny hometown which I always thought was odd. It's hard to believe anyone in my town ever owned a Master System, but we had an Atari 7800 so I guess it's not that strange. I didn't have many SMS games at the time, so I played it enough for form a fairly strong opinion. That opinion was that it had to be one of the worst games on the console. Acquiring more games didn't change my opinion much either. It was always one I ranked near the bottom. Several years after buying it I was playing some games for Twin Galaxies. My main goal was setting the record on Hang-On, but I had some extra room on my VHS tape. I decided to get a high score on Captain Silver since none had been submitted so far. My Hang-On record was beaten fairly quickly by someone with more focus than me, but my Captain Silver record stood for years. I spent nearly a decade being the Captain Silver world champion. In spite of this, however, I'm not sure if I fully understood the game. I play it now and it's not quite the trainwreck I remember. Is it actually a better game that I had thought, or am I just getting soft in my golden years? 

I can certainly tell that Captain Silver started life as an arcade game. It comes from the post-crash and pre-Street Fighter era where shooters and intense platformers ruled. Master System was full of arcade adaptations, and for the most part they tried to keep them authentic. Captain Silver certainly feels like a game that is still trying to eat your quarters. You move slowly and the enemies just keep coming. In the first level they are mostly dispatched with one hit, but as the levels go on, they become more difficult to defeat. I've never been a huge fan of these slow-moving side-scrollers, but I can't say it doesn't execute. The controls are fine, and I never had trouble attacking or jumping. I just find the whole thing a bit dull. There's nothing too exciting about slowly swinging a sword at a slow-moving enemy, even when there are several slow-moving enemies on the screen at the same time. There are a few branching paths and moving platforms that add some much-needed variety, and I enjoy earning extra lives by collecting letters that spell out Captain Silver from defeated enemies. There are also shops that sell a few power-ups, but unless you haven't upgraded your weapon all the way they are pretty useless. It just doesn't make much sense saving up 30,000 coins to buy an invincibility potion that only lasts about thirty seconds. Nothing they try keeps it from being uninteresting. It's certainly not one of the worst things I've ever played. However, there is another big problem with the American version of the game. 

In most regions Captain Silver came out in 1988 with six levels. The American version came out a year later, and for some reason they took out two of the levels. The instruction manual even says there are six levels, but they are nowhere to be found. With the two levels missing Captain Silver takes a miniscule ten minutes to play through. Nobody is going to beat it on their first try, but it's not a particularly hard game either. By 1989 this kind of brevity was unacceptable. I can't think of a shorter game that wasn't insanely hard. Cybernoid only lasts about ten minutes, but it would take hours to get good enough to finish it. Captain Silver just doesn't have the challenge level to justify being so short. It is novel having an SMS game that I can actually finish, but it's not the most satisfying win. 

I started this review by predicting that I was going to like Captain Silver more than I expected. I enjoyed it for the first couple of minutes, so I actually thought that it was better than I remembered. I suppose it was to a degree, but that's only because I thought it was one of the worst games of all time. At the very least I can say that it's not the worst game on Master System, and it probably won't be the worst game released in the US either. The controls and graphics are fine, and it can be entertaining in short bursts. As a complete package, however, it is too short and too basic to generate much interest. The Master System was known for its arcade ports, and Captain Silver was released after so many better ones had already been released. It even came out a month after the Genesis was released. Nobody was thinking about Captain Silver when there was 16-bit Altered Beast to play. Of course, it could be a better game than I'm giving it credit for. Maybe I'm just bitter because someone beat my record. 

So, after all that Captain Silver still ends up in the bad section. At least it's near the top, and I'm even putting it above Robodemons. It is 138 overall which makes it the third best bad game I have ranked so far. On the Master System specific list, it ranks 10 out of 11. It's better than 20-em-1, but it is the worst of the American games I have played so far. There are 114 US games, so we'll have to get through 104 more to see if that dubious record holds. That would make it stronger than my Captain Silver record, but at least I'm not bitter about it. I just think about how somewhere out there someone played Captain Silver even more than I did. This is one of those stories where nobody wins. 

Sega Master System Quality Percentage: 7/11 or 63.63%