The Legend of "Valkyrie" (1990)

Of the five games included in Namco Museum Vol. 5, this is definitely the one that is most obscure to Americans. It was the only game that never made it to American arcades, and most sources don’t even list it under that name. It certainly feels like a late 80s arcade game in that the goal isn’t really getting the high score. It does keep track of that, but collecting points isn’t really the game’s focus. This is a game that is meant to be won. I will give it points for the ambition, but it does fall apart a bit in the execution.

(I am getting Dino-Riki flashbacks, and honestly that's not really a bad thing)

It’s a game that tricks you into thinking it is a deep RPG with a compelling story, but it can’t really hide the fact that it is an arcade game whose main goal is to take your money. Most of the game is spent moving in one direction and shooting wave after wave of monsters. There are so many things to kill in this game. If you ever wanted to kill fire than this is your game. It is also full of moving platforms which are very easy to fall off of. There go more and more quarters. It all adds up to a game that I really wanted to like, but the pieces just don’t add up.

I will probably play this one some more in the future and might be able to find more to like about it. For now though I’m just not finding that much to enjoy with inching along shooting the same monsters over and over while trying to make very perilous jumps. It takes more than a sword and a shop to be an RPG. This one is going to be easy to place on my Ironclad List of Correctness, but I doubt it will stay at the bottom for too long. If anything I am glad I played it so that Metro-Cross could move away from the bottom of the list. That game is way too god to stay at the bottom for long. 

1. Pac-Mania (1987)

2. Metro-Cross (1985)

3. The Legend of “Valkyrie” (1989)

Next time: A game with a secret female protagonist set on a dangerous alien world, but not the one you’re thinking of.

Pac-Mania (Arcade, 1987)

Pac-Mania is the final game of the original Pac-Man arcade series. It came out after nearly a decade of awkward Pac-man sequels into a world where arcade machines were mostly in pizza parlors and gas stations. You might think that it would be a sad last gasp, but instead it’s a celebration of what made Pac-Man great.

Pac-Mania is a game that both looks great and plays great. The very large mazes have a great pseudo 3D look, and they are no longer confined to a single screen. The scrolling mazes add to the tension because you never know what’s around the next corner. I also like how each maze gets an identity. That’s not just some maze, that’s Block Town! Let’s go save Block Town everybody! That’s ghost eating with a purpose. 

The second biggest change is the ability to jump. So how do that balance the difficulty now that gravity is mere suggestion? With a whole buncha ghosts. There are ghosts everywhere in these mazes, and they are entertainingly relentless. They can’t always be jumped over because they often travel in packs, or travel in opposite directions, or come around a blind corner. Even better the increased ghosts means that the top combo bonus for eating them is now 7650 points. So many points all at once! I get excited every time it happens. It’s one of the best achievements in classic arcade gaming. It’s like separating two Qix spikes.

As you can tell I really like Pac-Mania, and it’s taking over the top spot in my first ranking. It’s another game from Namco Museum Vol. 5, but unlike Metro-Cross it’s easy to track down in several compilations on multiple platforms. There’s even a fairly rare Tengen version on NES. I’ve even been lucky enough to play it in an arcade. What I’m saying is that you should find a version of it and check it out. It’s the best of the Namco made Pac-Man games. Now I know that I only have two games, but I am excited about the first edition of the Ironclad List of Correctness. If the universe only had these two games you should play them in this order:

1. Pac-Mania (1987)

2. Metro-Cross (1985)

Next time: I’m tired of all these dashes. Let’s see how it goes with quotation marks.

Metro-Cross (Arcade 1985)

Does dodging giant soda cans on a skateboard appeal to you? Because it totally should. If it doesn’t than I’m not sure I should even be talking to you. Metro-Cross is an odd arcade game released by Namco in the awkward years of arcades between the mid-80s crash and the rise of games like Street Fighter 2. It’s a game that has such a rad 80s quality to it that I can’t believe it was made in Japan instead of California. The presentation reminds me of Smash TV, but it is actually a few years older. I’m completely confused by it, but I can’t deny that it is a lot of fun. 

(Just like in the real world!)

In Metro-Cross you play as a large chinned man trying to finish a running course before time runs out. If you don’t make it in time you are electrocuted. In your way are obstacles such as giant soda cans, hurdles, and chess pieces which I’m not good enough at the game to see. The game never really explains why you are doing this, but perhaps it’s better left to the imagination. It’s probably a boring old futuristic dystopia. The game is mostly about controlling speed and timing jumps, because the runner never completely stops running. All the time that is saved up is used for the more difficult fourth level in the cycle. 

(Being a winner is exhausting)

This game is just the right kind of arcade game for me. Every time I play it I get a little better. The time saving aspect means that I am always looking for ways to shave off a couple more seconds every time I replay a round. There are also sneaky ways in the levels to get more points like kicking cans and riding skateboards. It feels like a game that I could play all day.

I am currently playing it on Namco Museum Vol. 5 for Playstation. I can’t believe that it took them until the fifth volume to release this one. Namco always wanted to put a few good ones on each disc, but this is some marquee gaming. It belongs on volume one for sure. Now, since this is my first entry I am not going to be able to rank it, but it’s one that will always remain in good standing. I think the Namco Museum games are only six dollars on the PSN store, and Metro-Cross itself is worth the price of admission.

Next time: I have my first ranking dilemma as I play another underrated Namco arcade game with a dash in the title  

Hello

I am a very silly and attractive man who has decided to go on a very ridiculous journey. My plan is to play every video game in the known universe and rank them against each other. My methodology isn't very complicated or scientific, but I assure you it is correct. My only rule is that there is no specific plan for what order I go in. Sometimes I might have a theme and sometimes it will be whatever I get in the mail that day. You are welcome to make recommendations and argue about the list itself. After I play a game I will place it into the Ironclad List of Correctness and there it will remain unless I change my mind later. I might reevaluate some games after I play them more at a later date. Either way I am going to try to rank as many as I can and hopefully get to every game ever eventually. There can't be that many right?